Letter #5

Dear Loreli,
Happiness is the ultimate goal in life. I promise you will hear and read me telling you this many times in your life. Today you are five months old. In the last five months you have brought a happiness to everyone around you that is just indescribable. It's amazing how one person can change so many people; how such a tiny being who doesn't know any better could lighten life for everyone around her.
Since you were born I have been struggling to find what I am meant to do. My ultimate goal is to be home with you during the day. My heart cannot bear to work to earn money so that someone else can raise you. I cannot bring myself to see you three to four hours a day hoping you are awake during that time or to allow a stranger to be the person who witnesses all of your amazing milestones. I am struggling in so many ways to find the right job that will allow me to do this.
You are my ultimate happiness. Our family and our life together is the most important and cherished part of my life. In order to reach my ultimate goal your Daddy and I have had to sacrifice things and I foresee more sacrifice in the future. Here's where my lesson for this letter comes in.
Though Daddy and I have and always will be very loved by our parents, we were raised very differently. Your Daddy had to work for every single thing he was given, essentially learning how to earn things in life. There were times that what your Daddy and his siblings had weren't what was new and popular or the most expensive this or that. This taught Daddy how to be humble and how to appreciate every single thing he has.
I on the other hand was raised with a bit more cushion. I was allowed to get away with not working for what I was given. This doesn't mean I didn't appreciate what I had or even that I had more than others. I simply didn't have to earn much. I admit this probably allowed me to stray from the work ethic lessons in life but I know that it opened windows for me to explore other parts of life. I was encouraged to be artistic and to find myself and because I didn't have to work as hard as others I was able to concentrate on my childhood and all of the different milestones of growing up.
Don't get me wrong my Lovebug, I don't feel that there is a right or wrong way to raise children. Everyone is different and everyone turns out differently. In the end we both ended up growing up and once we found each other we didn't waste any time in buying a house, getting married and having you. I knew what I wanted and I'm not used to earning what I want, so I went for it. Your Daddy knew what he wanted and was never just handed anything in life, so he went for it. Our decisions to be together, be married and to have you were by no means wrong or mistakes. They were inevitable. Buying the house on the other hand and perhaps biting off more than we could chew, that is something I wish we had waited for.
I realize that everyone has to make their own mistakes in life and one does not truly learn without experience, but I really hope that you take my words and advice into consideration as you grow. All good things come to those who wait. There is no doubt that we would be spending our lives together. There is no doubt that we would have children. What our mistake was is that we only thought about what we want and how we could get it right away instead of stepping back and looking at the bigger picture. No one is perfect and that is just a part of being human.
As I struggle now to find a job that suits me in what I am capable of doing and also works with my ultimate goal of being home with you during the day, I know that I am only struggling because we rushed into things. If we had truly put in thought and been patient with when and how we made life altering decisions, I would most likely be in a better position to have what I want. Because of these actions we will sacrifice luxuries in life.
Here's where my next lesson comes in. As I said before I was handed a lot of things growing up without having to earn them. Growing up as the only child in the house I never had to share anything material and I never had to share my parents attention and love. Once I moved out of my parents home it was a very harsh slap in the face to learn the reality of living on my own. I am thankful to my parents that even though I was given things, I was still taught how to be independent. It was scary, but I managed to learn how to be on my own.
When I got a job that was an actual well paying job, I went a little crazy on my spending. At last I could have those luxuries in life I had before. I maxed out three credit cards in less than a year. When I had an emergency and needed large amounts of money, I didn't have it. Three years later I am still paying for my selfishness.
Your Daddy and I are currently working to pay off our debts. This is not easy or fun but it will be well worth it to do this now instead of later. I am 24 years old and I am just now learning how to live without what I want all of the time. I look around our home and see so many things that we want to do and I just can't wait to do them. I look at you and think, "O you'd be beautiful in this," or, "O you would love that."
What your Daddy is currently teaching me is how to live without everything I want now and realize that all good things come to those who wait. Things in our house will get done as time goes on. I don't even need to have someone tell me, I just know... you will always be beautiful, with or without the newest, biggest, prettiest headbands and outfits. At this age your happy with a phone in front of you or laying next to the dog. You really are not going to know or remember if I bought you the biggest and best toys at this age.
Whatever it is you do in life, be bold and take risks... but do it wisely. No matter what my Lovebug, I know that your Daddy and I would not ever allow you to go without. You will never have a Christmas or birthday without presents. We will do whatever it takes to give you the best. You will learn how to earn things and spend wisely. And if you do find yourself in a similar situation, I pray that you have a spouse who is as supportive and loving as your Daddy.
...Of course we are always here for you whenever you need us. :)
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #4

Dear Loreli,
Never allow money to control your life. Whatever it is you want to do, do it. I hope that over the years your father and I will be able to teach you how to spend money wisely. Save what you can and do not get sucked in by credit. Your Grandma Fredendall said it best, "The only thing credit is good for is to get more credit." Sure, having good credit will help you in obtaining a vehicle and getting a house which is why it is important for you to learn how to establish credit, maintain it and not go crazy. If you are not careful and you spend frivolously then credit and debt can rule your life. This happens to so many people nowadays and Lovebug, I don't ever want to see it happen to you.
Sometimes it takes quite a while for someone to find what they want to do with their life. I had no clue what I wanted until I had you. I instantly knew that I was meant to be a mommy, it is my purpose in life. By working full time I wasn't giving you the attention and time I wanted to. It was a tough decision for me to go to an over night part time job, but it was the only way I could be home with you. The cut in our income is manageable. I would have done anything to find a way to be with you because no amount of money is worth losing precious moments with you.
When you find your niche in life, go for it. Nothing is impossible and everything is obtainable. Nothing is ever too expensive and in the same sense living on little to get what you want in life is not insane. Everything is within your reach. Too many people allow money to control their lives which limits obtaining their dreams.
When offered, accept any help people are willing to give you. Patience is a virtue. If you work hard and are wise about handling your finances then in time you can do or have anything. The sky is the limit.
Loving you forever,
Mommy