Letter #12

Dear Loreli, Tonight I go to sleep with a purple finger and a heart overflowing with love. It is the end of a three month time home with you and your sisters and I find myself soaking in every single moment with the three of you. Today was your day. You colored with Evalyn, we tie dyed some shirts, we went out to dinner just the two of us, we bought Daddy's Christmas presents and we snuggled close while you fell asleep. It was a wonderful day. It was a magical day. As you get older you amaze me with how much you understand about the world. Yesterday at the store when you saw a blow up Santa, you yelled across the store, "Hello Santa! Alvin wants a hula hoop! I can't hug you cause I have a boo boo on my finger. I love you Santa, Merry Christmas! I love you!" You were so sweet and endearing. I will remember that moment along with so many others for the rest of my life. You are gaining a want for independence. As we tie dyed shirts for the family together there were numerous times you grabbed the dye and told me you wanted to do it yourself. Though we both ended up covered in dye, I let you do your thing. I want to encourage you in any way I can to be yourself and that you are capable of anything. If doing that means we get a little messy, I don't mind. Not one bit. When you and I went out to eat just the two of us, you had just woken up from a nap. You were shy and snuggled up to me in the booth. You refused to let me go and fell back to sleep. It wasn't the smiley and laughing outing I anticipated, but it was perfect all the same. It was a reminder that even as you grow and proclaim your independence, you are still my baby. You will always be my baby. On our way home you spoke about monsters who come out in the dark. You reminded me that Daddy told you monsters are scared of lights and that the headlights on the car are scaring them away. Then you pointed out every single house that was decorated with Christmas lights. With each house you had more enthusiasm than the last. You also danced and sang to Christmas songs on the radio. The Alvin and the Chipmunks song is your favorite. As you grow and become more and more of a little girl, there are moments that I am not always your favorite person. When I tell you no or ask you to do something, like go to sleep, you will tell me we aren't friends. You will cry for someone else. My heart breaks a little in these moments, but I know that you are saying these things because you are hurt. I know I can't always be your best friend... But I will always be your mommy. And I will always love you. Recently you have started calling everyone sweetheart. I have no idea where you picked this up, but it melts my heart to the core. Whenever you try to calm Charlotte or love on Evalyn you will say, "it's ok sweetheart," or "I love you sweetheart." Then there came bedtime. You were angry that I took away your cartoons but within a few minutes your were snuggling with me as we went down the list of everyone we love. I often remind you to say thank you for those you love. I like to think that each time we do this, you understand a little more than the last time. You are truly blessed to be lives by many and I will always remind you to be thankful for that. Thank you for today. I go to sleep looking at my purple finger and I hold today's memories close to my heart. I'm so proud and lucky to be your mommy. Love you always and forever, Mommy

Letter #11

Dear Loreli, Today is a day that I will hold in my memory for the rest of my life. Today is election day and this is a monumental election. Today you held my hand as we walked into the Shelby Town Hall, you sat on my lap with my ballot and helped me vote. Today I voted not just for who will sit in office as president, I voted for your future. Today I voted for your rights. I included you in this event even at your young age because I feel that it is important to always be open and honest with you and to take every opportunity to educate you. I pray that in raising you and your sisters that you become strong and open-minded women. Today I fought so that when the day comes that you and your sisters find your life partner, it won't matter what gender that person is and if that person happens to be of the same sex, you will be able to marry that person without fighting or hiding. Today I fought so that when you grow up, you and only you may make the decision with what to do with your body. Today I fought for many different things but these are the issues I push for with your future in mind. With my vote today, I fought for you. If there is anything I want to teach you it is to always be proud of who you are. Don't ever allow another human being belittle your opinion or your feelings. Years from now you won't remember this day or what you helped me do, but if I do my job correctly as your mother, you will know that your voice and your vote counts. Love you always and forever, Mommy

Letter # 10

Dear Loreli, O my sweet big girl, I cannot believe how fast time has gone by!! In a little over three months you will be THREE YEARS OLD! No matter how big you get, you will ALWAYS be my sweet little Button. I have to admit I have a hard time watching you get bigger, but I am so incredibly proud of you and everything you accomplish. You have become such a vibrant, fun and loving little girl. Everyone who comes into contact with you just raves about how well behaved and wonderful you are. You adjusted to being a big sister like a pro. There have been rare instances of jealousy and it's only lately that you sometimes have a hard time sharing with your sister, but this is mainly at home. At daycare all we hear about is how you share and take care of Evalyn. You also love to help with your cousins when they are around. Even though you are the oldest of the Ryan clan and there continues to be more babies born, you know exactly how to keep the spotlight with your charm. Your favorite people are Papa, Aunt Pam and Uncle Dan. You and your Papa have a very special bond that I don't think anyone else will ever be able to touch. Right now you are very lucky to be able to spend time with them each week, which is special because as we are adding a third baby to our own family you are still able to get one on one time. Every day something new comes out of your mouth that either amazes me that you even understand certain concepts or has me laughing hysterically. You are an entertainer for sure with such a big heart. I could not be more proud of you and I know that when your second baby sister Charlotte arrives, you will be there to help me take care of her just as you have with Evalyn. I continue to look forward to watching you grow and having you teach me about the world all over again. Loving you forever, Mommy

Letter #9 Happy 1st Birthday

Dear Loreli,
It was one year ago today that you came into the world and changed my life forever. You are officially one year old. In the last year you have changed the lives of so many people. Daddy and I continue to be amazed and so incredibly proud of you every single day.
Last year when you were rolling around in my tummy, I was incredibly anxious to meet you. Going through labor was a life changing experience. The first moment you looked into my eyes changed me completely. Words cannot describe the love and utter happiness I have felt having you in my life.
Before you were born I was unsure of my path in life and what I truly wanted. When Daddy and I fell in love I knew I had found my life partner. When you came into the world I then had a purpose.
Every day of your first year has taught us something new. You have pushed our boundaries and shown the true meaning of patience. The biggest lesson of becoming a mommy has been to be selfless. Every want and need of yours always comes first.
Watching you grow over your first year has been amazing. Already I can see your strength and that you don't give up on what you want. You have already shown a love of music and that dancing is something you are a natural at.
I have always been a planner, someone who is prepared for anything and a stickler on punctuality. You have shown me that no matter how much I organize, something will always be forgotten. There is always a possibility of being late and no matter how much I plan, I cannot ever predict the outcome.
I think Daddy and I have put more emphasis and excitement into exposing you to the world than you have had the ability to actually understand. We both very much look forward to every new discovery you make and joy that you feel.
Every single moment with you is a blessing. In the morning you are so cuddly, you and I sit in the recliner and rock back and forth while we snuggle under a blanket. I always ask you how your dreams were and you always reply with you baby babble. When we cuddle I love to stare at every part of you. You are so innocent and untouched by the reality of the world. I am utterly amazed every day by your beauty and existence.
You are no longer my little baby, you are now becoming a toddler... a little person. Very soon you will be a big sister. I hope that as time progresses you and your little sister can learn from one another and be lifelong companions. The biggest lesson I have learned in the last few years is that you will always have family. Your sister will always be part of you.
As your life continues and you grow faster than I am ready for, always know that I love you more than anything in this world. You are the best part of me and my life. I wish for you happiness, serenity and success in whatever form you can find them. There is not a moment of my life that I will not be living for you and loving you with all of my heart and soul.

Happy 1st Birthday Button

Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #8

Dear Loreli,
You are now just over eight months old. You are crawling like a maniac and your personality shines through more and more everyday. You continue to amaze everyone with how quickly you pick up on things and anyone we meet just gushes about how beautiful and wonderful you are.
Being able to be with you everyday means the world to me. Our moments of giggles and snuggling together are forever etched into my memory. I cherish every moment we have, even when your tired and crabby. I absolutely love your laugh. When you smile and giggle it's as if my whole heart begins to overflow with utter happiness and love.
You have learned how to give kisses, although you don't always get the closing of the mouth part. That's okay, we love slobbery kisses. I could kiss your lips and cheeks all day and night. When you fall asleep for your nap and you snuggle close to me, I can't ever bear to put you down. Every single second you are wrapped in my arms close to my heart is the best second ever.
It's such a wonder on how you learn things without even being shown. Your dancing ability is very much beginning to shine. You figure things out so quickly, I sometimes can't keep up!
I come home from work late and you are usually sound asleep, as you are now. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and every second I have with you.
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #7

June 29th, 2010
Dear Loreli,
Yesterday you turned six months old. I cannot believe how fast time is going by. It seems like minutes ago you were this tiny little being who was so fragile. Now you are quite the chunker and very active! Just as you are learning more and becoming aware of the world around you, we found out that you are going to be a big sister!
We were shocked to find out that so quickly after you being born we will be adding another to our family. We were planning on adding on to the family closer to when you will be turning two, but this is what life has given us. My first thoughts upon finding this out were that you haven’t had enough time to be the baby, that you are not ready to be the big sister. Now that I have had some time to adjust to this discovery, I know it is a wonderful blessing.
You are going to be a big sister. You are going to have a friend for life, someone who will always be by your side. It is scary to think of having two babies about fourteen months apart, but this will allow you two to go through everything in life together.
The most important thing for you to know my little Button is that we love you with all of our hearts. Adding on to our family only creates more love and we will never love you any less.
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #6

Dear Loreli,
Today you spent most of the day with Grandpa Ryan while I worked on some house projects here at home. By the time I woke up, Daddy had already taken you to Grandma and Grandpa's house, so I didn't get to see you until everyone came over for dinner. Call me obsessive but this was such a long time for me to be without you my Lovebug! The last hour away from you was spent by the window waiting for Grandpa's truck to pull into the driveway. Kissing your chubby cheeks was the best feeling in the world!

Being away from you and spending a little time with just Daddy gave us some time to reflect and think. You are right on the verge of crawling, sitting up and talking. Daddy made a bet today that you will probably do all three at the same time! Thinking about you doing all of these things just floors me. I can't believe that you are almost six months old. A year ago you were just a tiny little peanut in my tummy and I was a naive mommy to be who had no idea what the future would hold. Two years ago Daddy and I were just falling in love. Three years ago I was a completely different person trying to find who I was meant to be in this world.

Not every letter to you is going to have a lesson. In this letter, I just want you to know how much you are loved. You are my whole world. Being your mommy makes me want to be the best person I possibly can for you. I want to do everything in life as great as I can because I know that you will only learn by example.

You have changed the lives of everyone around you just by being in this world. I hope you never lose that affect Lovebug.
Loving you forever,
Mommy