Letter #12

Dear Loreli, Tonight I go to sleep with a purple finger and a heart overflowing with love. It is the end of a three month time home with you and your sisters and I find myself soaking in every single moment with the three of you. Today was your day. You colored with Evalyn, we tie dyed some shirts, we went out to dinner just the two of us, we bought Daddy's Christmas presents and we snuggled close while you fell asleep. It was a wonderful day. It was a magical day. As you get older you amaze me with how much you understand about the world. Yesterday at the store when you saw a blow up Santa, you yelled across the store, "Hello Santa! Alvin wants a hula hoop! I can't hug you cause I have a boo boo on my finger. I love you Santa, Merry Christmas! I love you!" You were so sweet and endearing. I will remember that moment along with so many others for the rest of my life. You are gaining a want for independence. As we tie dyed shirts for the family together there were numerous times you grabbed the dye and told me you wanted to do it yourself. Though we both ended up covered in dye, I let you do your thing. I want to encourage you in any way I can to be yourself and that you are capable of anything. If doing that means we get a little messy, I don't mind. Not one bit. When you and I went out to eat just the two of us, you had just woken up from a nap. You were shy and snuggled up to me in the booth. You refused to let me go and fell back to sleep. It wasn't the smiley and laughing outing I anticipated, but it was perfect all the same. It was a reminder that even as you grow and proclaim your independence, you are still my baby. You will always be my baby. On our way home you spoke about monsters who come out in the dark. You reminded me that Daddy told you monsters are scared of lights and that the headlights on the car are scaring them away. Then you pointed out every single house that was decorated with Christmas lights. With each house you had more enthusiasm than the last. You also danced and sang to Christmas songs on the radio. The Alvin and the Chipmunks song is your favorite. As you grow and become more and more of a little girl, there are moments that I am not always your favorite person. When I tell you no or ask you to do something, like go to sleep, you will tell me we aren't friends. You will cry for someone else. My heart breaks a little in these moments, but I know that you are saying these things because you are hurt. I know I can't always be your best friend... But I will always be your mommy. And I will always love you. Recently you have started calling everyone sweetheart. I have no idea where you picked this up, but it melts my heart to the core. Whenever you try to calm Charlotte or love on Evalyn you will say, "it's ok sweetheart," or "I love you sweetheart." Then there came bedtime. You were angry that I took away your cartoons but within a few minutes your were snuggling with me as we went down the list of everyone we love. I often remind you to say thank you for those you love. I like to think that each time we do this, you understand a little more than the last time. You are truly blessed to be lives by many and I will always remind you to be thankful for that. Thank you for today. I go to sleep looking at my purple finger and I hold today's memories close to my heart. I'm so proud and lucky to be your mommy. Love you always and forever, Mommy

Letter #11

Dear Loreli, Today is a day that I will hold in my memory for the rest of my life. Today is election day and this is a monumental election. Today you held my hand as we walked into the Shelby Town Hall, you sat on my lap with my ballot and helped me vote. Today I voted not just for who will sit in office as president, I voted for your future. Today I voted for your rights. I included you in this event even at your young age because I feel that it is important to always be open and honest with you and to take every opportunity to educate you. I pray that in raising you and your sisters that you become strong and open-minded women. Today I fought so that when the day comes that you and your sisters find your life partner, it won't matter what gender that person is and if that person happens to be of the same sex, you will be able to marry that person without fighting or hiding. Today I fought so that when you grow up, you and only you may make the decision with what to do with your body. Today I fought for many different things but these are the issues I push for with your future in mind. With my vote today, I fought for you. If there is anything I want to teach you it is to always be proud of who you are. Don't ever allow another human being belittle your opinion or your feelings. Years from now you won't remember this day or what you helped me do, but if I do my job correctly as your mother, you will know that your voice and your vote counts. Love you always and forever, Mommy

Letter # 10

Dear Loreli, O my sweet big girl, I cannot believe how fast time has gone by!! In a little over three months you will be THREE YEARS OLD! No matter how big you get, you will ALWAYS be my sweet little Button. I have to admit I have a hard time watching you get bigger, but I am so incredibly proud of you and everything you accomplish. You have become such a vibrant, fun and loving little girl. Everyone who comes into contact with you just raves about how well behaved and wonderful you are. You adjusted to being a big sister like a pro. There have been rare instances of jealousy and it's only lately that you sometimes have a hard time sharing with your sister, but this is mainly at home. At daycare all we hear about is how you share and take care of Evalyn. You also love to help with your cousins when they are around. Even though you are the oldest of the Ryan clan and there continues to be more babies born, you know exactly how to keep the spotlight with your charm. Your favorite people are Papa, Aunt Pam and Uncle Dan. You and your Papa have a very special bond that I don't think anyone else will ever be able to touch. Right now you are very lucky to be able to spend time with them each week, which is special because as we are adding a third baby to our own family you are still able to get one on one time. Every day something new comes out of your mouth that either amazes me that you even understand certain concepts or has me laughing hysterically. You are an entertainer for sure with such a big heart. I could not be more proud of you and I know that when your second baby sister Charlotte arrives, you will be there to help me take care of her just as you have with Evalyn. I continue to look forward to watching you grow and having you teach me about the world all over again. Loving you forever, Mommy