Letter #9 Happy 1st Birthday

Dear Loreli,
It was one year ago today that you came into the world and changed my life forever. You are officially one year old. In the last year you have changed the lives of so many people. Daddy and I continue to be amazed and so incredibly proud of you every single day.
Last year when you were rolling around in my tummy, I was incredibly anxious to meet you. Going through labor was a life changing experience. The first moment you looked into my eyes changed me completely. Words cannot describe the love and utter happiness I have felt having you in my life.
Before you were born I was unsure of my path in life and what I truly wanted. When Daddy and I fell in love I knew I had found my life partner. When you came into the world I then had a purpose.
Every day of your first year has taught us something new. You have pushed our boundaries and shown the true meaning of patience. The biggest lesson of becoming a mommy has been to be selfless. Every want and need of yours always comes first.
Watching you grow over your first year has been amazing. Already I can see your strength and that you don't give up on what you want. You have already shown a love of music and that dancing is something you are a natural at.
I have always been a planner, someone who is prepared for anything and a stickler on punctuality. You have shown me that no matter how much I organize, something will always be forgotten. There is always a possibility of being late and no matter how much I plan, I cannot ever predict the outcome.
I think Daddy and I have put more emphasis and excitement into exposing you to the world than you have had the ability to actually understand. We both very much look forward to every new discovery you make and joy that you feel.
Every single moment with you is a blessing. In the morning you are so cuddly, you and I sit in the recliner and rock back and forth while we snuggle under a blanket. I always ask you how your dreams were and you always reply with you baby babble. When we cuddle I love to stare at every part of you. You are so innocent and untouched by the reality of the world. I am utterly amazed every day by your beauty and existence.
You are no longer my little baby, you are now becoming a toddler... a little person. Very soon you will be a big sister. I hope that as time progresses you and your little sister can learn from one another and be lifelong companions. The biggest lesson I have learned in the last few years is that you will always have family. Your sister will always be part of you.
As your life continues and you grow faster than I am ready for, always know that I love you more than anything in this world. You are the best part of me and my life. I wish for you happiness, serenity and success in whatever form you can find them. There is not a moment of my life that I will not be living for you and loving you with all of my heart and soul.

Happy 1st Birthday Button

Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #8

Dear Loreli,
You are now just over eight months old. You are crawling like a maniac and your personality shines through more and more everyday. You continue to amaze everyone with how quickly you pick up on things and anyone we meet just gushes about how beautiful and wonderful you are.
Being able to be with you everyday means the world to me. Our moments of giggles and snuggling together are forever etched into my memory. I cherish every moment we have, even when your tired and crabby. I absolutely love your laugh. When you smile and giggle it's as if my whole heart begins to overflow with utter happiness and love.
You have learned how to give kisses, although you don't always get the closing of the mouth part. That's okay, we love slobbery kisses. I could kiss your lips and cheeks all day and night. When you fall asleep for your nap and you snuggle close to me, I can't ever bear to put you down. Every single second you are wrapped in my arms close to my heart is the best second ever.
It's such a wonder on how you learn things without even being shown. Your dancing ability is very much beginning to shine. You figure things out so quickly, I sometimes can't keep up!
I come home from work late and you are usually sound asleep, as you are now. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and every second I have with you.
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #7

June 29th, 2010
Dear Loreli,
Yesterday you turned six months old. I cannot believe how fast time is going by. It seems like minutes ago you were this tiny little being who was so fragile. Now you are quite the chunker and very active! Just as you are learning more and becoming aware of the world around you, we found out that you are going to be a big sister!
We were shocked to find out that so quickly after you being born we will be adding another to our family. We were planning on adding on to the family closer to when you will be turning two, but this is what life has given us. My first thoughts upon finding this out were that you haven’t had enough time to be the baby, that you are not ready to be the big sister. Now that I have had some time to adjust to this discovery, I know it is a wonderful blessing.
You are going to be a big sister. You are going to have a friend for life, someone who will always be by your side. It is scary to think of having two babies about fourteen months apart, but this will allow you two to go through everything in life together.
The most important thing for you to know my little Button is that we love you with all of our hearts. Adding on to our family only creates more love and we will never love you any less.
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #6

Dear Loreli,
Today you spent most of the day with Grandpa Ryan while I worked on some house projects here at home. By the time I woke up, Daddy had already taken you to Grandma and Grandpa's house, so I didn't get to see you until everyone came over for dinner. Call me obsessive but this was such a long time for me to be without you my Lovebug! The last hour away from you was spent by the window waiting for Grandpa's truck to pull into the driveway. Kissing your chubby cheeks was the best feeling in the world!

Being away from you and spending a little time with just Daddy gave us some time to reflect and think. You are right on the verge of crawling, sitting up and talking. Daddy made a bet today that you will probably do all three at the same time! Thinking about you doing all of these things just floors me. I can't believe that you are almost six months old. A year ago you were just a tiny little peanut in my tummy and I was a naive mommy to be who had no idea what the future would hold. Two years ago Daddy and I were just falling in love. Three years ago I was a completely different person trying to find who I was meant to be in this world.

Not every letter to you is going to have a lesson. In this letter, I just want you to know how much you are loved. You are my whole world. Being your mommy makes me want to be the best person I possibly can for you. I want to do everything in life as great as I can because I know that you will only learn by example.

You have changed the lives of everyone around you just by being in this world. I hope you never lose that affect Lovebug.
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #5

Dear Loreli,
Happiness is the ultimate goal in life. I promise you will hear and read me telling you this many times in your life. Today you are five months old. In the last five months you have brought a happiness to everyone around you that is just indescribable. It's amazing how one person can change so many people; how such a tiny being who doesn't know any better could lighten life for everyone around her.
Since you were born I have been struggling to find what I am meant to do. My ultimate goal is to be home with you during the day. My heart cannot bear to work to earn money so that someone else can raise you. I cannot bring myself to see you three to four hours a day hoping you are awake during that time or to allow a stranger to be the person who witnesses all of your amazing milestones. I am struggling in so many ways to find the right job that will allow me to do this.
You are my ultimate happiness. Our family and our life together is the most important and cherished part of my life. In order to reach my ultimate goal your Daddy and I have had to sacrifice things and I foresee more sacrifice in the future. Here's where my lesson for this letter comes in.
Though Daddy and I have and always will be very loved by our parents, we were raised very differently. Your Daddy had to work for every single thing he was given, essentially learning how to earn things in life. There were times that what your Daddy and his siblings had weren't what was new and popular or the most expensive this or that. This taught Daddy how to be humble and how to appreciate every single thing he has.
I on the other hand was raised with a bit more cushion. I was allowed to get away with not working for what I was given. This doesn't mean I didn't appreciate what I had or even that I had more than others. I simply didn't have to earn much. I admit this probably allowed me to stray from the work ethic lessons in life but I know that it opened windows for me to explore other parts of life. I was encouraged to be artistic and to find myself and because I didn't have to work as hard as others I was able to concentrate on my childhood and all of the different milestones of growing up.
Don't get me wrong my Lovebug, I don't feel that there is a right or wrong way to raise children. Everyone is different and everyone turns out differently. In the end we both ended up growing up and once we found each other we didn't waste any time in buying a house, getting married and having you. I knew what I wanted and I'm not used to earning what I want, so I went for it. Your Daddy knew what he wanted and was never just handed anything in life, so he went for it. Our decisions to be together, be married and to have you were by no means wrong or mistakes. They were inevitable. Buying the house on the other hand and perhaps biting off more than we could chew, that is something I wish we had waited for.
I realize that everyone has to make their own mistakes in life and one does not truly learn without experience, but I really hope that you take my words and advice into consideration as you grow. All good things come to those who wait. There is no doubt that we would be spending our lives together. There is no doubt that we would have children. What our mistake was is that we only thought about what we want and how we could get it right away instead of stepping back and looking at the bigger picture. No one is perfect and that is just a part of being human.
As I struggle now to find a job that suits me in what I am capable of doing and also works with my ultimate goal of being home with you during the day, I know that I am only struggling because we rushed into things. If we had truly put in thought and been patient with when and how we made life altering decisions, I would most likely be in a better position to have what I want. Because of these actions we will sacrifice luxuries in life.
Here's where my next lesson comes in. As I said before I was handed a lot of things growing up without having to earn them. Growing up as the only child in the house I never had to share anything material and I never had to share my parents attention and love. Once I moved out of my parents home it was a very harsh slap in the face to learn the reality of living on my own. I am thankful to my parents that even though I was given things, I was still taught how to be independent. It was scary, but I managed to learn how to be on my own.
When I got a job that was an actual well paying job, I went a little crazy on my spending. At last I could have those luxuries in life I had before. I maxed out three credit cards in less than a year. When I had an emergency and needed large amounts of money, I didn't have it. Three years later I am still paying for my selfishness.
Your Daddy and I are currently working to pay off our debts. This is not easy or fun but it will be well worth it to do this now instead of later. I am 24 years old and I am just now learning how to live without what I want all of the time. I look around our home and see so many things that we want to do and I just can't wait to do them. I look at you and think, "O you'd be beautiful in this," or, "O you would love that."
What your Daddy is currently teaching me is how to live without everything I want now and realize that all good things come to those who wait. Things in our house will get done as time goes on. I don't even need to have someone tell me, I just know... you will always be beautiful, with or without the newest, biggest, prettiest headbands and outfits. At this age your happy with a phone in front of you or laying next to the dog. You really are not going to know or remember if I bought you the biggest and best toys at this age.
Whatever it is you do in life, be bold and take risks... but do it wisely. No matter what my Lovebug, I know that your Daddy and I would not ever allow you to go without. You will never have a Christmas or birthday without presents. We will do whatever it takes to give you the best. You will learn how to earn things and spend wisely. And if you do find yourself in a similar situation, I pray that you have a spouse who is as supportive and loving as your Daddy.
...Of course we are always here for you whenever you need us. :)
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #4

Dear Loreli,
Never allow money to control your life. Whatever it is you want to do, do it. I hope that over the years your father and I will be able to teach you how to spend money wisely. Save what you can and do not get sucked in by credit. Your Grandma Fredendall said it best, "The only thing credit is good for is to get more credit." Sure, having good credit will help you in obtaining a vehicle and getting a house which is why it is important for you to learn how to establish credit, maintain it and not go crazy. If you are not careful and you spend frivolously then credit and debt can rule your life. This happens to so many people nowadays and Lovebug, I don't ever want to see it happen to you.
Sometimes it takes quite a while for someone to find what they want to do with their life. I had no clue what I wanted until I had you. I instantly knew that I was meant to be a mommy, it is my purpose in life. By working full time I wasn't giving you the attention and time I wanted to. It was a tough decision for me to go to an over night part time job, but it was the only way I could be home with you. The cut in our income is manageable. I would have done anything to find a way to be with you because no amount of money is worth losing precious moments with you.
When you find your niche in life, go for it. Nothing is impossible and everything is obtainable. Nothing is ever too expensive and in the same sense living on little to get what you want in life is not insane. Everything is within your reach. Too many people allow money to control their lives which limits obtaining their dreams.
When offered, accept any help people are willing to give you. Patience is a virtue. If you work hard and are wise about handling your finances then in time you can do or have anything. The sky is the limit.
Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #3

Dear Loreli,
Love is a wonderful feeling. There are many types of love such as the love for your parents, the love for a child, the love of a sibling or relative or the love of a friend. The most important love in life is the love of a partner. To find someone to share your life with through thick, thin, ups and downs is a magical experience. The love and support of a soul mate can get you through anything life decides to bring your way.

The subject of love is one I'm sure I will spend years and years teaching you about. I think the most important aspect of our lives for Daddy and I to show you is that we love each other deeply and our relationship is based on passion and understanding. Daddy and I do not always agree and we do not always want the same things but because we have a strong love we are able to compromise for each other.

Daddy and I both kissed some frogs along the path to finding each other, as I'm sure as you grow you will do the same. I want you to know that especially when you are young it is okay to care for someone but you do not have to give yourself entirely to them emotionally and physically. Each relationship you have will be a stepping stone of learning what you want and how to care for another person, until you find the right person to spend your life with.

When you find that perfect person my lovebug, you will know it. The first time your Daddy kissed me and held me close to him I knew in my heart that I never wanted him to let go. For quite some time I felt that your Daddy was too good for me and I did not deserve such a wonderful man. Then I realized that fate brought us together and there would be no one better able to handle or understand me. Fate brought me the perfect husband who also happens to be the perfect father.

My heart is bubbling with love every time I look at you or your father. My biggest wish for your future is that you one day feel the same love. I believe that we are put on this Earth to love because without it life is meaningless. Once you find this most precious gift, the world will begin to make sense.

Use your father and I as an example my lovebug. Know that we will always be there with an open mind, open ears and open hearts. You will break hearts and yours will in turn get broken as well. When you find the one you will share your life with make sure you have not given so much of yourself away to others and you can whole heartedly give everything to that one special person.

Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #2

Dear Loreli,
Just a week ago we began to give you cereal with your formula. The first time that I gave you the cereal was also your first time using a spoon and you didn't like either one. You cried and screamed and spit everything that went in right on out. It was a hilarious looking mess. I had no idea what I was doing or if I was feeding you correctly.

Since then I have given you the cereal once a day and as the days have progressed you have begun to master eating the cereal with a spoon. Two days ago you actually started waiting for the spoon to come to your mouth then opening wide and swallowing what was put in. I was so incredibly proud of you.

It's moments like these that I as a mother learn that no matter how much you don't like something I must insist on it and just keep trying. It wasn't easy to sit there shoving organic whole grain rice cereal into your mouth as you had tears rolling down your face and you screamed in confusion. My maternal instincts were to both coddle you and just give you a bottle or to refuse you the bottle and insist you eat with the spoon. I had to go with the instinct that I knew was best for you and it paid off in the end.

The reason I am telling you about this event my lovebug is because it is a great example of not giving up on what you know is the right thing to do. As your mother I wish for you to have an always happy and always easy life but unfortunately that is not the way of the world. There have been many instances in my life in which I was caught off guard and shocked by how difficult the world and adulthood can be.

For as long as we are around, Daddy and I will be here for you to help guide you but we will not always be able to fix everything for you. Even though as I write this you are my tiny little peanut, I know that as you read this you are a grown, strong and confident young woman. I know that you have the strength in you to succeed at whatever you set out to do with your life.

Many people will give you different opinions on your life choices. Some people will be happy while others may get angry or upset. Some people will support you and others will attempt to make you fail. My job is to make sure you know how to seek out the positive and can handle the negative with grace. Whether you set out to be a famous singer or athlete or you get into an office job and stay in the country, I will always support you and be there for you. As long as you are happy and satisfied with your choices I will be happy for you and proud of you.

When you run into the bumps in life which we all must face I will do my best to guide you. Know that failure is not an option and strive for the best possible outcome at all times. If you go into all situations with that mindset then everything will work out how it is supposed to and you will be stronger in the end.

Loving you forever,
Mommy

Letter #1

April 13th, 2010

Dear Loreli,
On May 11th, 2009 I took a pregnancy test that came up positive. I was nervous and excited and had absolutely no clue what to expect. When I told your father about the test he was just as in shock and over joyed as I was. The next nine months were full of heightened emotions. As we prepared for your arrival everything became "baby this," "baby that" and "when the baby is here."

I started filling out your baby book and writing about how Daddy and I met and fell in love. In the back of the book is a place where the parents can write a letter to their child. I always told myself, "I'll write it tomorrow." Every time I looked at that page I would think of you being 18 years old graduating high school and reading what I wrote to you. No matter how I thought it out in my head, no words of wisdom or love seemed right. I had no idea what type of mother I would be to you. I had no idea what my life would be like with a baby.

Labor was one of the most shocking experiences of my life so far. I had no idea whether or not I was having contractions and as the pain became worse and you came closer to greeting the world, a strength I never knew I had washed over me. Some women have an automatic maternal instinct and feel motherly while pregnant. For me giving birth to you was the beginning of viewing myself as a mother.

When Daddy and I brought you home we were completely exhausted. Everything about caring for you and loving you was brand new. Our first few weeks were full of visitors and tons of help. We were so busy that whenever I would remember that I still needed to write you a letter in your baby book, I was too tired to move.

As of today you are 15 weeks and 1 day, or just over three months old. A lot has happened in such a short time my lovebug. I am now getting to know the type of mother I am and want to be. There are so many times that things happen or things are said and I think to myself all of the lessons that I want to teach you. I talk to you now and I tell you these things but your response is usually an "ahhhooo" or just putting your fist in your mouth and smiling. This is why I have started this blog of letters to you my little one.

Now by the time you are a grown woman, who knows if there will still be blogs and internet pages or what type of resource will be used. I will print each letter and keep it safe for you. When you reach the appropriate age they will be yours to keep.

As time goes on and you grow I promise I will continue to write letters to you. If for whatever reason something should ever happen to me and I cannot be with you, use these letters to keep me close.

Loving you forever,
Mommy