Letter #12

Dear Loreli, Tonight I go to sleep with a purple finger and a heart overflowing with love. It is the end of a three month time home with you and your sisters and I find myself soaking in every single moment with the three of you. Today was your day. You colored with Evalyn, we tie dyed some shirts, we went out to dinner just the two of us, we bought Daddy's Christmas presents and we snuggled close while you fell asleep. It was a wonderful day. It was a magical day. As you get older you amaze me with how much you understand about the world. Yesterday at the store when you saw a blow up Santa, you yelled across the store, "Hello Santa! Alvin wants a hula hoop! I can't hug you cause I have a boo boo on my finger. I love you Santa, Merry Christmas! I love you!" You were so sweet and endearing. I will remember that moment along with so many others for the rest of my life. You are gaining a want for independence. As we tie dyed shirts for the family together there were numerous times you grabbed the dye and told me you wanted to do it yourself. Though we both ended up covered in dye, I let you do your thing. I want to encourage you in any way I can to be yourself and that you are capable of anything. If doing that means we get a little messy, I don't mind. Not one bit. When you and I went out to eat just the two of us, you had just woken up from a nap. You were shy and snuggled up to me in the booth. You refused to let me go and fell back to sleep. It wasn't the smiley and laughing outing I anticipated, but it was perfect all the same. It was a reminder that even as you grow and proclaim your independence, you are still my baby. You will always be my baby. On our way home you spoke about monsters who come out in the dark. You reminded me that Daddy told you monsters are scared of lights and that the headlights on the car are scaring them away. Then you pointed out every single house that was decorated with Christmas lights. With each house you had more enthusiasm than the last. You also danced and sang to Christmas songs on the radio. The Alvin and the Chipmunks song is your favorite. As you grow and become more and more of a little girl, there are moments that I am not always your favorite person. When I tell you no or ask you to do something, like go to sleep, you will tell me we aren't friends. You will cry for someone else. My heart breaks a little in these moments, but I know that you are saying these things because you are hurt. I know I can't always be your best friend... But I will always be your mommy. And I will always love you. Recently you have started calling everyone sweetheart. I have no idea where you picked this up, but it melts my heart to the core. Whenever you try to calm Charlotte or love on Evalyn you will say, "it's ok sweetheart," or "I love you sweetheart." Then there came bedtime. You were angry that I took away your cartoons but within a few minutes your were snuggling with me as we went down the list of everyone we love. I often remind you to say thank you for those you love. I like to think that each time we do this, you understand a little more than the last time. You are truly blessed to be lives by many and I will always remind you to be thankful for that. Thank you for today. I go to sleep looking at my purple finger and I hold today's memories close to my heart. I'm so proud and lucky to be your mommy. Love you always and forever, Mommy